


all dressed up for a hit and run

by arekiras



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Makeover, Makeup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 02:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17889674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arekiras/pseuds/arekiras
Summary: “Aw, c’mon Mistah Steel. You can hardly be someone’s arm candy if you look like he’s just fished you out of the garbage,” Rita says reasonably.or, the one where Juno has to get dressed up for a heist





	all dressed up for a hit and run

**Author's Note:**

> this was a request from my tumblr (@autisticjuno) but i might be convinced to write the actual heist. we all love a dressed up lady!

“Aw, c’mon Mistah Steel. You can hardly be someone’s  _arm candy_  if you look like he’s just fished you out of the garbage,” Rita says reasonably, shoving Juno with surprising strength onto her bunk. He lands with a light  _oof_  and looks up at her balefully. 

It’s not that he’s completely adverse to the idea of dressing up for a heist. And really, it’s for a heist, so he can hate it if he wants to. But putting himself on display, at least pretending to have to desire to be seen... the thought makes every one of his cells grimace. 

At least when he looks like he’s “just been fished out of the garbage” no one looks at him like he’s for public consumption. 

“I don’t see how, out of the two of us, I’m the one that got pulled to be arm candy, anyway,” Juno says to Peter, who is holding two eyeshadow palettes out for inspection before tossing one back into the frankly alarmingly large makeup caddy. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, Juno,” Peter says, folding his long body onto a low stool and cupping Juno’s jaw as he applies primer to Juno’s skin. “But, if you want the truth, it’s because one of us needs to be a distraction and one of us needs to be a pickpocket. And I’ve just got a bit of a lighter touch than you.” The corrective makeup all belongs to Rita, who is definitely closer to Juno’s color than Peter, and he applies it with that light touch of his. 

Rita tears through a pile of clothes in a box that Buddy had supplied, as if they have an entire costume closet Juno isn’t aware of while Peter brushes gentle strokes of pale pink and shimmering purple eye shadow onto Juno’s eyelid. 

Stupidly, Juno feels like he might cry, which is usually how he reacts to tender touch. Still, he suppresses the urge, as it would be a shame to ruin all of Peter’s hard work, and focuses instead on the outfit Rita is compiling behind Peter. Usually, Juno’s outfits consist of a maximum of three layers. Underwear, shirt and pants, his coat. Sometimes, he doesn’t wear underwear if he’s fallen behind on laundry. 

There are  _definitely_  more than three layers of clothing on Juno’s bed. 

“Open your mouth,” Peter says, pulling Juno out of his thoughts. The lipstick Peter is holding is nearly black and slightly glittery. Juno opens is mouth and rubs his lips together on instinct after it’s been applied. 

“This feels weird,” Juno says as Peter fixes stolen blood diamond earrings to his ears and steps back to survey his work. He is dressed a bit more plainly than usual, just a dark green suit which complements his light silver eyeliner. 

“Oh, boss, you look great! Like you’re a star,” Rita trills, an edge of jealousy to her voice. She hates being cooped up so much, but most of the jobs they run now rely heavily on her sitting behind a monitor or with her nose in a comms. “Now take your clothes off.” 

Juno can’t help it. “Rita, you know I’m a taken lady. I never knew you felt that way.” 

Rita retches dramatically, hitting him on the shoulder in retaliation. Juno changes into Rita’s outfit for him, requiring more help than he feels strictly comfortable with. It’s a sheer shirt that shows off the gold body chains Rita threatens him into wearing, dark pants that fit like a second skin, a leather chest harness looking thing (Juno blushes at the implications, but Peter insists it’s the height of fashion on Neptune) a velvet jacket, and wedged boots. The boots contain knives and several lock picking devices hidden in the wedges, which makes Juno feel better about the practicality of it. 

They’ve even found him a shiny, polished leather eyepatch. 

Juno stands with his hands up while Rita blows on his nails in a way that probably isn’t really helpful, but smiles at the way Peter is looking at him. Maybe he doesn’t like feeling as though he’s free for the public to gawk at, but Peter can look at him with that expression of  _appreciation_  in his eyes as much as he wants. 

“You’re incredible,” Peter tells him and Juno shrugs, rather than flounder for a response to the compliment. 

“I wish I was going with you,” Rita complains, shattering the moment. “It would be  _just_  like one of my streams, the femme fatale diving right into the den of the enemy! Who are secretly  _robots_! And she has to fight her way out with nothing but her wits and her earrings that shoot lasers!” She makes accompanying sound effects, waving her arms around as she follows them to the loading dock of the ship. 

“We’ll tell you all about it when we get back, Rita. Just watch the security for us,” Juno says placatingly and she sighs. 

Peter opens the door of the RUBY7 for Juno, saying, “My lady,” and making Juno snort before driving them toward the glittering city in the distance. 


End file.
